Reflections on Life and Spirituality 101: Crossing the chasm of offence and forgiveness

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Crossing the chasm of offence and forgiveness - how?

I am asking myself, "Am I getting old, that I get offended so easily by people? Is it also a sign that I am regressing in my spirituality and having my heart hardened that I judge so easily?" Over the past few weeks, the pressures of work sometimes stretches my tolerence towards other people - expecting others to understand what I am going through and to extend a symphathetic hand. I am asking myself again: what is the true essence of forgiveness in the face of an offence taken?

Something by Oswald Chambers gives a perspective:

Beware of the pleasant view of the fatherhood of God: God is so kind and loving that of course He will forgive us. That thought, based solely on emotion, cannot be found anywhere in the New Testament. The only basis on which God can forgive us is the tremendous tragedy of the Cross of Christ. To base our forgiveness on any other ground is unconscious blasphemy. The only ground on which God can forgive our sin and reinstate us to His favor is through the Cross of Christ. There is no other way! Forgiveness, which is so easy for us to accept, cost the agony at Calvary. We should never take the forgiveness of sin, the gift of the Holy Spirit, and our sanctification in simple faith, and then forget the enormous cost to God that made all of this ours.

That's right - we often view forgiveness as an emotion, rather than a choice towards releasing the offence through the power of the Cross. In saying this, I continue to realise my complete inability to forgive in my own strength even if I know I should. And frequently, one does not feel as if 'forgiveness towards another person has materialized as an emotion', perhaps it never will.

Simon the Cyrenian in many ways, was recorded in Scriptures as this person who carried the cross for Jesus. I do not know whether this man was holding something in his hands, perhaps a child in his arms, or a bag, whilst watching Jesus' last walk towards His crucifixion. If he was indeed holding something, he would have certainly needed to lay it down in order to take up the full weight of the cross. I am asking whether at that time, he felt like taking up Jesus' cross. I cannot imagine him being thrilled at that prospect from an emotional perspective. However he felt about it, Scripture says he was "compelled to" carry out that deed and in the end, associated himself with righteous Christ who bore the brunt of the ugly and pious self-righteousness of man, which is in all of us.

At the risk of sounding overly spiritual, I am again reminded that a heavy cost was paid on the Cross - and this Cross demands precedence over our pride and individual rights; the pride of holding on to unforgiveness and our rights in taking the hypocritical high ground in the face of what we consider as offences committed against us. The Cross demands that we lay these things down and a total allegiance to Him, whether or not we "feel like it or not". As St. John of the Cross concluded, "God takes away the props so that we begin to grow in true devotion that is strong enough to carry on even unaided by emotions". How true - and at times, I wonder how far we stray from these truths.

Back to the initial question: Am regressing in my spirituality and having my heart hardened that I judge so easily? Perhaps not. Not if I stop being a spectator like Simon originally was. Not if I stop being a bystander and carry the cross. I am encouraged that through our struggles, it's the Lord urging us to release the ugliness of old and to take on resurection of the new. And that new can only materialize by sheer obedience to, and through the Cross - nothing more, nothing less. Question is whether we will choose to lay the old self down and take on the new.

Labels: Forgiveness, Relationships

# posted by Sal : 10:45 a.m. | Be notified of new blogs | Forward to a friend

Comments:

You are very right, The fact that Jesus went through all that pain to bring us salvation makes it easier to deal with people who are offensive or obnoxious. Thinking about that sacrifice always makes me better able to shrug off life's little inconveniences and trials.

Delphi

# posted by

Anonymous : December 14, 2005 6:20 p.m.

Hi Delphi- yes, I agree. Also, to accept that a person who comes across as offensive may "just be like that", be having a bad day, or may have been hurt themselves in the past, which precipitates in them behaving a certain way. This is not to excuse the person, but to understand that everyone has a story and we may not have understood the full picture.

Or it could be something in us that God may be pointing too. We can easily forget to our part in offense.

Hard to not take it personally sometimes, but needs to be done.

# posted by

Sal : December 18, 2005 11:44 p.m.

So many times, there is a sheer stubborness in us that resists a decision to forgive, even when we have all the reasons in our heads that we should -- God's forgiveness for us, research showing that bitterness poisons the soul/other relationships, person committing the offence may not have known better, etc.

You're right. It is best not to leave forgiveness to how one feels, otherwise it may never be done.

# posted by

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# posted by

Anonymous : January 07, 2006 6:09 a.m.

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