Thursday, April 20, 2006
Honest grounds and shared journeys towards change
"If there is one thing about myself that I should change, what do you think it should be?"
As we get older, I realize that it more difficult to ask that question of ourselves and yet, still feel that change comes easy. This question is something we should be asking ourselves periodically anyway, but it is more appropriately answered by people who know and are close to us. The quest to answer this question is akin to holding up a mirror to our soul; if we are to examine ourselves realistically, we have to be sure that we have an accurate reflection to glean from.
If so, do we even possess close enough "mirror to your soul" relationships that we can ask that question to and not be afraid of the answer?
I am reminded over the long Easter weekend how blessed it is to have close enough friends whom you can ask that question and be certain one will get not only a truthful answer, but also a grace-filled one. If you have people like that around you, then you are blessed.
However, going down this avenue also reflects a certain reality of one's desire for change and growth, one that is not necessarily the most comfortable of journeys to make. I was chatting to a friend recently and the conversation flow stumbled over the topic of change. With him being a good mate, I took the chance by posing the question to him, "If there is one thing about myself that I should change, what do you think it should be?" And I am glad I did.
Cause it started a precious exchange of open sharing and encouragement - sometimes touching on the "not so pleasant things"; things about ourselves which are 'painful' to hear. However, this was under girded by a sense that we weren't judging one another for revealing sides of ourselves that are weaknesses.
Throughout the discourse, there was no fear, no shame, and no defensive postures. It was safe territory. Pertaining to myself, I was reminded from this close friend that I needed be careful about my speech. I realize that I do not need to push to "be correct" all the time, especially not at the expense of relationships.
"If there is one thing about myself that I should change, what do you think it should be?"
The discussion with this friend around the above question gave me hope that I have friends looking out for me. It also gave me the desire to encourage and facilitate change in both myself, as well as the friend I was sharing with.
It challenged me to think further: Maybe I should ask that kind of question more often, and build more relationships that have enough depth without being afraid that the foundations will crumble -- for people to 'dig deeper into the ground to let air in'. On our part, what is required is for us to be malleable, and that can be the one of the hardest things in the world to be.
As we get older, inertia drags us down and arguably we may feel we know it all. The ultimate question for each of us to answer is: Do I still want to be changed by the Lord? And if so, are there people in our lives that He has put in our paths to help us change? As I reflect further, I realize I am very far from the true destination of becoming the person I am to be in Christ. I may have traversed far, but I have got many more miles to go. The finishing line is not yet crossed. With this realization, I sense a renewed desire to continue walking on solid ground and have godly companions to travel with. This recent chat gave me further fuel for the journey and I am thankful for that.
Lord, equip us to be on the road to arrive at the right destination.
As we get older, I realize that it more difficult to ask that question of ourselves and yet, still feel that change comes easy. This question is something we should be asking ourselves periodically anyway, but it is more appropriately answered by people who know and are close to us. The quest to answer this question is akin to holding up a mirror to our soul; if we are to examine ourselves realistically, we have to be sure that we have an accurate reflection to glean from.If so, do we even possess close enough "mirror to your soul" relationships that we can ask that question to and not be afraid of the answer?
I am reminded over the long Easter weekend how blessed it is to have close enough friends whom you can ask that question and be certain one will get not only a truthful answer, but also a grace-filled one. If you have people like that around you, then you are blessed.
However, going down this avenue also reflects a certain reality of one's desire for change and growth, one that is not necessarily the most comfortable of journeys to make. I was chatting to a friend recently and the conversation flow stumbled over the topic of change. With him being a good mate, I took the chance by posing the question to him, "If there is one thing about myself that I should change, what do you think it should be?" And I am glad I did.
Cause it started a precious exchange of open sharing and encouragement - sometimes touching on the "not so pleasant things"; things about ourselves which are 'painful' to hear. However, this was under girded by a sense that we weren't judging one another for revealing sides of ourselves that are weaknesses.
Throughout the discourse, there was no fear, no shame, and no defensive postures. It was safe territory. Pertaining to myself, I was reminded from this close friend that I needed be careful about my speech. I realize that I do not need to push to "be correct" all the time, especially not at the expense of relationships.
"If there is one thing about myself that I should change, what do you think it should be?"
The discussion with this friend around the above question gave me hope that I have friends looking out for me. It also gave me the desire to encourage and facilitate change in both myself, as well as the friend I was sharing with.
It challenged me to think further: Maybe I should ask that kind of question more often, and build more relationships that have enough depth without being afraid that the foundations will crumble -- for people to 'dig deeper into the ground to let air in'. On our part, what is required is for us to be malleable, and that can be the one of the hardest things in the world to be.
As we get older, inertia drags us down and arguably we may feel we know it all. The ultimate question for each of us to answer is: Do I still want to be changed by the Lord? And if so, are there people in our lives that He has put in our paths to help us change? As I reflect further, I realize I am very far from the true destination of becoming the person I am to be in Christ. I may have traversed far, but I have got many more miles to go. The finishing line is not yet crossed. With this realization, I sense a renewed desire to continue walking on solid ground and have godly companions to travel with. This recent chat gave me further fuel for the journey and I am thankful for that.
Lord, equip us to be on the road to arrive at the right destination.
Labels: Change / Progress, Friendships, Spiritual Direction / Guidance
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nice blog........its always good to stumble on other souls who have begun their journey home, at some stage everybody will have to ask the question of themselves when they are finally ready, as well as close friends you mention there is always one closer who you can ask and listen to , it will guide and steer you :
ask and you shall recieve
seek and you shall find
knock and it will be opened to you
good luck on your journey...D
ask and you shall recieve
seek and you shall find
knock and it will be opened to you
good luck on your journey...D
# posted by 
: April 20, 2006 5:18 p.m.
: April 20, 2006 5:18 p.m.
Thanks Dazz for your encouragement.
One other note: We may have the best of intentions to be malleable and open to change, but yet somehow, we can still unknowingly fall into the trap of becoming resistant to change; worst still if we don't realise it.
Finding this balance is difficult. Having fellow travellers along the journey who are willing to "speak the (corrective) truth in love" to us is even more challenging.
One other note: We may have the best of intentions to be malleable and open to change, but yet somehow, we can still unknowingly fall into the trap of becoming resistant to change; worst still if we don't realise it.
Finding this balance is difficult. Having fellow travellers along the journey who are willing to "speak the (corrective) truth in love" to us is even more challenging.
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