Tuesday, August 22, 2006
The Enemy of Intimacy
I am amazed how lucidly Henri Nouwen writes, once again on a theme which has been on my mind.
"Fear is the great enemy of intimacy. Fear makes us run away from each other or cling to each other but does not create true intimacy. When Jesus was arrested in the Garden of Gethsemane, the disciples were overcomed by fear and they all 'deserted him and ran away' (Matt 25:56). After Jesus was crucified, they huddled together in a closed room 'for the fear of the Jews' (John 20:19). Fear makes us move away from each other to a 'safe' distance, or move towards each other to a 'safe' closeness, but fear does not create the space where true intimacy can exist. Fear does not create a home. It forces us to live alone or in a protective shelter but does not allow us to build an intimate home. Fear conjures either too much distance or too much closeness. Both prevent intimacy from developing."
Here is more of what he says...
"But whether through distance or closeness, fear prevents us from forming an intimate community in which we can grow together, everyone in his or her own way. When fear separates or joins us, we can no longer confess to each other our sins, our brokenness and our wounds. How, then, can we forgive each other and come to reconciliation? Distance allows us to ignore the other as having no significance in our lives, and closeness offers us an excuse for never expressing or confessing our feelings of being hurt."
From "In the House of the Lord", Henri Nouwen
Labels: Christian Living, Friendships, Relationships
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